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Making a tough situation that little bit easier for all

Collaborative divorce might seem like a contradiction in terms, but it could save you money should the worst happen.

Its hard to get divorced well. Traditionally, every decision affecting you, the kids and the money has to go through the courts and with everyone's emotions running so high, things can get messy.

Collaborative divorce, however, is a new approach to the situation that could ease the process considerably. It comes not surprisingly from the west coast of America, where they take a non-confrontational approach to life generally, and means less court involvement and more talking around a table.

Angela Allan is a specialist in collaborative divorce and she explains how the scheme works.

"Collaborative divorce is all about communication rather than confrontation. Usually, once the decision to divorce has been taken both parties rush off in high dudgeon to find lawyers and immediately the scene is set for an expensive court battle.

With collaborative divorce, each partner still has a lawyer but at the start of the process everyone signs a participation document where they agree not to issue proceedings in court. And then both parties sit down round a table - with their solicitors - and they talk"

It's a process that has many benefits. It tends to be much quicker than traditional court based proceedings and of course any divorce that is less confrontational has to be better for the children.

"Financially it can also be beneficial," says Angela, "Especially where there are substantial amounts involved. The traditional court route involves filling out what's called a 'Form E', a process which is both lengthy and expensive, whereas sitting round a table takes that out of the equation."

And of course with less aggression comes greater opportunities for fairness.

"All too often the biggest settlement goes to the one who can afford the best lawyers and this can result in a financial situation that's skewed hugely in one party's favour. With collaborative divorce the parties agree before the process how much they're going to spend. It's also much harder to take someone for every penny they've got if you're talking to them over tea and biscuits rather than through a solicitor.

"The whole collaborative divorce situation is much more relaxed. The parties involved in the process dictate the pace and they feel much more in control of the final arrangements than if the decisions are left to the courts."

Collaborative divorce, though, isn't perfect. If either party decides they can't cope at any time then the process grinds to a halt and has to start from scratch with a whole new team of lawyers. This will be expensive but does have the benefit of keeping everyone's mind on the job in hand.

And of course such a way of doing things isn't suitable for everyone. Collaborative specialists such as Angela have to be skilled in making sure that their clients' aren't being browbeaten into starting a process they don't feel comfortable with and then make sure that they're not intimidated during the process itself. All clients have the process carefully explained to them to make sure they fully understand what's involved.

Equally, in situations where trust has completely broken down or there are issues of domestic violence, collaborative divorce is unsuitable. Using the process in the wrong situations could be potentially explosive.

Overall, though, collaborative divorce could be the way forward. Provided all parties are properly briefed before the process begins it can work even in some contentious cases. As Angela says, "It's more about drinking cups of tea than throwing them."

For further information contact Angela Allan.

The information given in this article is of a general nature only and should not be considered as advice applicable to any particular situation for which specific request should be made to us.